Thursday, January 27, 2011

Were You Friends Before Dating?-Reign’s View (Revisited)



Sometime last year, KD posted about our friendship before we started dating, and how it has helped us in our marriage. You can read it here. I was going back through our old post and saw this, and remembered that I never actually posted my point of view. So here it is:

When I first met Kenya, I never looked at her as a potential wife. Actually, one of my friends was actually having more of a conversation with her than I. Like KD said, we were both in a relationship, so I never thought to reach out to her, but I did think she was a cool person.

The following semester, I made a bold move to deliberately get up out of my seat in the back of a class we had together and leave two of my friends to go sit right beside KD in the front row. I didn’t know what I was going to say when I sat down. It was bold because I never really spoke to her during the entire semester, and all we would do is, at the most, say “Hi” during passing. But when I sat down and said “Hi” she was so welcoming and made me very comfortable to have a conversation. It was a breath of fresh air. From that point forward is when I believe our friendship grew and blossomed to what it is today. Every time I think about our beginnings, it always brings me back to that moment. It's not like I had all these marital plans before sitting beside her, but I feel if I did not take that bold step then maybe our lives wouldn't have turned out the way they did...



Wow...I just had a moment of reflection...

Ever since then our friendship has grown far more than I could ever image. She would be the first person I would call when I had relationship trouble. I would tell her everything. I trusted her with secrets I could not share with others. Whenever I would share those secrets, she always made me feel like I wasn’t crazy, or she knew exactly how I felt. I use to even share with her when I thought another woman was attractive. Of course that is one thing I can’t share with her anymore...not that I find any other women attractive anymore...

Over the past ten years, we’ve gone through many relationship obstacles, and as the years progress, we grow stronger. Our friendship grows stronger. Our bond grows stronger. I truly believe this is why our marriage will last. We were friends before we were lovers. In all of my past relationships that mattered, I was friends with the woman before we started dating, and each of those relationships lasted years. Out of the relationships that I was not friends with the woman, the length of time we were together is not even worth mentioning. I whole-heartedly believe that you have to be friends before you can be lovers. Our friendship is our foundation, which I hope to instil in our children when they reach this point in their lives.



My question to you: Do you know of a relationship that lasted (more than two years), and the two individuals were not friends before they were together? I’m curious...

REIGN

5 comments:

TheLeoDuo said...

Awww baby. That was so sweet! Especially the part about you not being attracted to other women, lol. You were sprung from the get-go.

-K.D.

Samantha said...

Marry your best friend and you'll always have someone to talk to...I just love the love that you two have for one another :-)

-Sam

TheLeoDuo said...

Thanks, Sam! We really appreciate that! I trully beleive that it would not be like this if we weren't best friends first...cuz chile!!!!

TheLeoDuo said...

What do you mean "cuz chile"???! Don't play with me Reign! LOL

-K.D.

TheLeoDuo said...

@Sam Thanks Sam! Girl, I totally agree. :-)

-K.D.

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