Were You Friends Before Dating?-K.D.'s View

Brown Sugar- Dre & Sidney still at the just friends stage

K.D.'s View

I met Reign almost 10 years ago and we were both in relationships. Neither of us was interested in being with the other....we were just friends. Then one day I looked up and Reign was my best friend. :-) I had a few best friends at that time and he was one of them. He would always call me his "best female friend' which I thought was weird....lol.

In my past relationships before the hubs, 2 crucial things had to happen before I "went" with anyone. We had to be good friends first and I had to love you. I was serious and I wasn't playing. I made that rule up when I was in the 10th grade. That was when I encountered my first love. Most of my friends thought it was odd that I had to actually love the guy to be in a actual relationship. You have to know what YOU will deal with and what YOU won't. Other folks may not always agree with you, but you aren't living for them are you? Some people can like a person & start a relationship. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just not me. I didn't take dating lightly and I didn't date lightly. I dated for keeps. I believe I was always looking for my husband. So if I was going to say, "This is my boyfriend", then love not like would have to exist in my heart.

That first kiss that changes the entire dynamics of the friendship... ;-)

Because Reign and I were best friends before even dating, I felt like we had a stronger more honest bond. I mean...I knew this guy. We didn't need a reason to kick it. I can't count how many nights I chilled at Keith's apartment eating pizza and watching Menace II Society. I loved being around him! I really did. :-) We'd been through a lot together as friends. I loved him deeply as a person. I knew his moods, his ways, likes, dislikes, past girls....everything. I didn't have to wait until we got past the newness so the real "him" could show up. He was already there-flaws and all. ;-) And I loved that about our relationship. I look at him now & I can't believe I've been knowing him all of these years. We were just reaching adult hood when we met & now we're grown (but still growing together) and married. He's my confidante. My was there with me at my worst times, been through some flat broke periods, i don't need makeup to impress him, i don't need that weave either, i would rather go through hard times with you than good times without you best friend. I'm so happy we found each other. This is truly the epitome of what Cicely Tyson talked about in Madea's Family Reunion.

So were you friends/best friends with your spouse before dating? If so, how did it affect your bond? If you weren't friends, how did that affect the relationship? I'm curious to see how the wheels turn in other folk's relationships.

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